Real Life

I've found that since graduation I've become a lot more comfortable with things in my walk with Jesus. I can't say its good or bad but rather its honest. Perhaps the blame lies with Stanford, or my parents, or my own pride but missing in my walk before graduation is a lot of honesty.

There are times I don't journal, or don't read scripture everyday or pray. I don't feel guilty either. Rather, I simply tell Jesus. Lord I don't really want to talk to you today. I'm too tired to get up and get my bible. I'm super sleepy and don't really want to do the morning devo. I'm kinda sad this is how I feel, so would you change my desires. Would you give me a hunger and thirst for your word and your presence that is more real to me than my desire for tamales right now.

There is something far more powerful in this place. This new, often, life-the-way-I-want-it place. I don't try to be something/someone I'm not. I can be disciplined, but found that it doesn't change my heart very much. I'd much rather be me. Sinner who is only sometimes repentant but inviting Jesus to do the deep and true transforming work that I cannot. I do this in the midst of sin, in times of obedience, in the in between times that constitute much of my life. My life is woefully bereft of religious structures, but I find I'm slowly but surely gaining an appetite. In fact I feel hungry right now!

So far after the Trek

Hi friends!

I'm been back from Bangkok for about two weeks now. For a brief overview for those who do not know, I was on IV's Global Urban Trek with Iheoma for 6 weeks in Bangkok. It was with a team of 15 students and 4 staff from across the country. We split into 4 different ministry sites (Iheoma and I were at different sites) and I lived and served with a team of 4 other girls in an urban slum leper colony.

I've largely been sitting in a lot of tensions, thinking about life for the next few months, spending time with family, entertaining my cousin's family who were here for a week, and hiding from life and the world. But! I've started to come out some and enjoyed playing ultimate with Mike Wei and Andrew Kao among others over the weekend. :)

It's been hella rough coming back. If there's a one word answer I would give to "how was it?" I would say "traumatic" (even though if I was listening to myself, I would think I'm being overdramatic, but that's really the honest answer). Both the experience there and coming back. Re-entry angst has tapered down some now but there's still unexpected triggers here and there and I suspect this will continue for quite a while. So I ask for a lot of grace from you. I also recognize a lot of ways the Lord has been so gracious to me, and I'll share some highlights.

This is my 2 year old niece. She's so cute! She was visiting when I returned. We were picking tomatoes. I spent a lot of time with preschooler's in Bangkok, so it was helpful for the transition. And I especially enjoy little kids that speak Asian languages :).

There's also been a lot of excellent food going around as so many relatives have been coming through town. I've been eating at my grandparents' houses (both sides) frequently and the food is the best! Plus then there is white rice, which is soo good. (We eat brown rice at home. sad face.) As well as going out to Chinese bakeries for bread and egg tarts, dim sum, tofu house, and Kalbi the korean taco truck. om nom nom

Hanging out with my cousins has been filled with a lot of joy and light hearted laughter and included activities like watching DBZ and Taiwan dramas, picking thousands of prunes from our stupid overproductive tree (anyone want some?? that picture is only a small portion of the harvest -_-) and 'mowing' the overgrown lawn with clippers because our lawn mower is broken (the worst!), which has shaken me out of my post-trek stupor some. And I've discovered also that speaking Chinese (or Chinglish [Chinese + English]) is extremely life giving.

At this point, I'm in a place where I would love to share about the Trek and Bangkok with you if you are interested. But only if you ask me questions about it and they are not stupid. If you are unsure what classifies as a stupid question, you can ask me before you ask it or consult anyone who has done an urban project. =) Otherwise I would greatly appreciate it if you do ask questions and continue to ask, as it helps me process and remember. And again, I ask for grace because I've discovered I'm an especially awful story teller and share-er. And because the Trek experience isn't something I can share in a nice tied up bow and be over and done with in one conversation. Thanks!

As for what is to come, I start work beginning of October with the SF SPCA (yes the animal police people on animal planet). I have like a vet tech position at the veterinary hospital that sees dogs and cats. Next month I'm going WWOOF-ing with a friend (organic farm hopping, though we probably will not hop).

Okay people who have not posted need to post! How about Mike Wei, Andrew Kao, or Tricky Bruce?

Claudia

Moving from one place to another.

Hello friends! I apologize for not posting earlier, I figured I’d let some time pass so I actually have something to post but now this is a long one so I hope you make it to the end.

I moved to Boston about four weeks ago and started working already. In terms of finding an apartment, God was really gracious to me. I felt somewhat stressed while I was in Vegas and trying to make my transition. But now I have a place with two other guys (one of them Christian), and they are really cool about living together. I don’t have many things in my room but I enjoy of what I do have: a guitar, books, my clothes, and a borrowed air mattress that I sleep on. It’s nice to have so little as it feels liberating yet can also get boring when I exhaust my discipline with guitar practicing and writing.

The primary thing I want to share in this post though, is about the church I go to. These past four years have been incredible in what God has being doing in me. But I am still a young Christian, learning what it means in every aspect of our lives. And for the past four years, I have identified as a Catholic Christian due to me loosely growing up in the church. I also have been rather negligent in learning what it means to be a Catholic Christian specifically. But the time has come for me to fully explore where God wants me to be.

Lately, I’ve been reading about the particulars of Catholic and Protestant theology to try to understand what the situation is between both church groups. In practice this looks rather odd. I have been reading books on what the wholesome Catholic belief is while attending a Protestant church. It is also a difficult thing to process, especially on my own and is largely the reason why I go to Hope Fellowship Church. So far, I have learned many things about both churches that I previously did not know and processing where I stand spiritually. The reason I have continued to attend Hope is because through mutual complicated circumstances, I have always felt a lack of a connection within the Catholic community.

I know that I fall so short of any of my efforts and need God’s mercy to help guide me in all the things I do. Hope is a wonderful church that has opened its doors in this time of transition for me. I ate lunch with one of the pastors, Dane, and shared with him my faith background and where I currently stand, both spiritually and emotionally. He is a blessing from God in praying, encouraging, and guiding me with an openness that shouldn’t have surprised me but did so anyways. Unfortunately, this discernment process is taking a toll on me. I had been unable to sleep at times and will just think about this process, as well as my job, my family, my friends, the past four years.

There is still a long road ahead of me. For the time being, I feel God’s encouragement in attending Hope. I get the sense that He means to bless me through this church and intends to grow me to share myself with them as well. It can feel difficult and lonely at times but I am so grateful in remembrance of all the ways that God shows that He has been and is always with me.

Juan

p.s. I think next time I'll post about all the other things that I have found or done in Boston :]

Things I learned yesterday...

Claudia and Iheoma are back from their Urban Trek in Thailand! :D And BAyUP will be done soon, with Mike and A'Lester returning.

Reunion, soon?

Things I learned from golfing

Today I went golfing with my dad and two of his doctor buddies. I only started about 4 years ago and haven't had the chance to get much better these past 4 years so I'm still a newbie to the game. But these are three things I learned (and am continuing to learn).

1. Patience. Golf is frustrating and has a steep learning curve. Often the shot I end up hitting is far from the shot I was envisioning in my head and consequently, my bad shot sets me up for another difficult shot. Golf totally is a game where one mistake snowballs into many. I think learning patience is an eternal lesson for me and my patience is always in short supply, especially at home.

2. Humility. Along with the steep learning curve comes a lack of performance and skill. This is probably the only game my dad beats me in. And if you haven't noticed, I'm actually a pretty competitive person and am not really a big fan of losing. But what does winning or losing a game matter when the victory is already won in Christ? I think today helped me swallow my pride and focus on learning and getting better and accepting the criticism and tips from my dad.

3. Perseverance. Sometimes golf can be a long day when your game is off. A whole round of 18 holes can take 4 hours or more. Further, in a game where one bad shot snowballs into many more, sometimes one might feel like giving up and just moving on to the next hole. I think today stretched my perseverance and while I struggled at times, I managed to finish every hole.

With Aloha,

Kevin

Love, Loss and Life

Between dead week and graduation, I lost 3 people in my life, two of them family members.  One was my cousin who died at the young age of 27 of a heart attack.  Her weight had been a problem all her life and though she overcame her shyness to pursue an education, she ultimate was overcome with complications due to her size.   I found out about her death the morning after graduation, and a week later of my mother's husband's passing.  With each call, each moment, I became increasingly more aware of my own mortality and that of those around me.  Even more reason to get healthy, find love, show love to those I love now, and more.

In about a month I will leave the bay area for a city and a coast I have never been to.  I hear all kinds of things about New York, movies and tv shows depict it from its glitz to its over-ratedness.  Another chance to embrace what I have learned in and out of the classroom and apply it to the short life I have left here before the long life I live in eternity waiting for me on the other side of the Jordan.  I will also be celebrating my golden birthday next month, 26 years old on the 26th.

I have already lived so much, and I know now that there is so much more living I want to do.  Last year, on my birthday, I wrote a letter to myself and this year on my birthday I will read it and write another for my 27 year old self.  I will seal that letter and pray that the day I read it, I will be able to smile at my hopes and nod at my epiphanies bolstered with the blessings of the year to yet again continue writing to my future self.  In a way, as I write to the woman I am going to be, I get a preview and a few requests before she is cooled from the ovens of life's trials and consumed by the passions of her heart.

What I learned in Senior Sem!

In Senior Sem at SummerCon, we studied the life of Joseph in Genesis. That was pretty memorable. But what was even more memorable than that was seeing Steve give himself double eyelids! It's so amazing. If you missed out on the opportunity to see Steve's double eyelids, do not despair! I got dinner with Steve and friends last week and got a great picture of Steve's double eyelids! See for yourself the awesomeness that is Steve's double eyelids! 

This is definitely on my top 25 summer highlights so far! Thanks Steve! =D